Interview With Michele Bachmann

Oscar:  Hello Michelle and welcome to Macintosh and Oscar.

Michele:  Thank you.  It’s a pleasure to be here.

MacIntosh:  We would like to focus today on your sense of humour.  A lot of liberals just don’t “get” you.

Michele:  You’re right.

Oscar:  Like whens you said Hurricane Irene and the earthquakes were God telling us we need to cut the deficit.  I thought that was hilarious but lots of people thought you were stark ravin’ mads.

Michele:  If you watch the tape you can see the corner of my mouth turn up when I said that….that’s what happens when I’m just kidding around.

MacIntosh:  I’ll admit I missed it.  How about when you said “Gay marriage is probably the biggest issue that will impact our state and our nation in the last, at least thirty years. I am not under-stating that.”

Oscar: You was kiddin’ again huh Michele?

Michele:  That’s the way we roll in Minnesota.

MacIntosh:  Let’s try another one.  You once said “If we took away the minimum wage – if conceivably it was gone, we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level.”

Oscar:  I’m dyin’ from laughter over here.

Michele:  Actually I was serious as a straightjacket about that.  Think about it.  Right now a California employer has to pay each worker $8.00 an hour.  If they only had to pay $1.00, they could hire 8 workers instead of one.  No unemployment.

MacIntosh:  How would they live on $40 a week?

Michele:  Who knows?  I’m solving the unemployment problem here.

Oscar:  Yous puttin’ us on huh Michele.

MacIntosh:  On the environment, you said “Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn’t even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is harmful gas.”  Was that a joke?

Michele:  If carbon dioxide was harmful would they put it in Coca-Cola?

MacIntosh:  That would make sense if the atmosphere was made of Coca-Cola.

Oscar:  Hoelee Moelee that would be a bunch of Coca-Cola.

Michele:  Whatever.  I once said “I just take the bible for what it is, I guess, and recognize that I am not a scientist, not trained to be a scientist. I’m not a deep thinker on all of this. I wish I was. I wish I was more knowledgeable, but I’m not a scientist.”

MacIntosh:  Joking or serious?

Michele:  Just joking.  How could I know so much if I wasn’t knowledgeable?

Oscar:  Eggszactly.  So the reasons normals people think you is crazy is cuz they don’t knows when you is jokin’ or nots jokin’.

MacIntosh:  Maybe you should work out some signals so we can know.

Michele:  Like what?

Oscar:  You could wears a hat when you is not jokin’.

Michele:  What kind of hat?

MacIntosh:  Maybe something in tin foil.